Dr. Willis Newman, Esmeralda Newman, bible-teaching-about.com

Should a wife pray with another man in private?

by Eric
(Virginia)

My fiance and I are in disagreement over whether or not she should be praying with another man without anyone else present. I have no problem with her praying with another man when there is another woman present. I know she just wants to help, and she is prayer warrior, but this goes against my beliefs. She and I agree that it is wrong for her to counsel or minister to another man, or for me to counsel another woman. She is sending the wrong signals to another man, and there is the potential for there to be an "appearance of evil" both from my view and the man's spouse's view. There needs to be safeguards in our lives, and I know a man's nature, especially lost ones. We have each sought counsel and what she has been told goes against my beliefs, and my beliefs have been backed up by the elder men of the church, and even our pastor, but she still doesn't believe me that it is dangerous and wrong. We really need an objective view on this. Please help!

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Sep 05, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		Jesus
by: Anonymous

Didn't Jesus say to love your neighbor as he has loved us ? If your sting in the faith I don't see a problem , but if you don't know who you are in Christ then watch out. I'm not about to limit Gods people
Jan 25, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		Do not be deceived like I was
by: Bonnie

I am writing from personal experience but from a reverse role. I am a divorced female, having recommitted my life to Christ 7 years ago and serving in a spiritual.care ministry up until one year ago.

This past fall, I met a male pastor/chaplain from Uganda, who is married with children, as well as a couple of females from Uganda, all who are attending ministry school in the States for advanced degrees. In a very short period of time, the man and I became fond of each other, and I felt I loved him as a brother. At his prompting, I invited him to my home for bible study, talking and praying. We shared many things about our lives and an intimacy developed at an astonishing speed.

On such a meeting, he confessed to me that he was battling the desire to have sex with me. It was less than one week later, that we met to pray on the matter. And that meeting ended with us committing adultery.

There is more to tell and more background to fill in the blanks. I know that Satan used my innocent fondness of this man, and my desire to help him or be a good Christian support to him, and my own longing and desires, to try and destroy me. The man, I do believe, was an instrument of the devil and skilled at emotional seduction.

God is bringing me through this horrific fall into sin. I am in a great deal of pain, shame and suffering from it. There are and will be, consequences. Yes, I have asked God to forgive me and I know that He has. However it is an excruciating and soul altering experience that I wish noone else who loves the Lord to go through.

My advice, certainly, is not to pray alone with the opposite sex. Do not be deceived that you will not form an intimate relationship with the person, and thus give our enemy opportunity.
Feb 01, 2013
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starstarstarstarstar 		Satan's Ways
by: Anonymous

I pray for women other than my wife all the time, but I do it alone, and in the privacy of my study. We may have the best of intentions, but we don't have to be alone with someone of the opposite gender who isn't our spouse. Again God hears prayers and burdens for others without needing to be in their presence, as long as we hold up their name to Him, Jesus will intercede on our/their behalf. If the other person is comfortable being alone with your spouse, satan may be at work, and he has studied how we respond to temptation for thousands of years. I think it's best to say "get thee behind me satan".
Jul 19, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		Should a wife pray with another man in private?
by: kenny metcalf

I personally don’t think that a wife should pray with another man's wife in private, I think that you open yourself up for the enemy to come in. yes we are in prayer and yes we are before God in prayer but the enemy is not concerned about that and if he can take down one of God's elect though the spouse then that’s a huge victory for him and no one is above being tempted. The bible tells us we should abstain from the very appearance of evil and in the eyes of others that might seem a little inappropriate. You might have the best intentions in the word of only helping but we don’t know what is in the heart and the minds of others. Don’t be fooled by the devil!
Jun 07, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		Praying with the opposite sex
by: Carol

Eric, I'm assuming your fiance has been told that WITH PURE INTENTIONS praying with the opposite sex in private is OK. I don't agree. Praying for another is an intimate act. It reflects caring and love. This is opening the door to potential disaster. Two immediate things come to mind - the emotional nature of women makes it difficult to keep our hearts "guarded" and "unattached" to the one with whom we pray. Doing so in private removes all barriers. Often prayer involves the "laying on of hands" and may end with a hug. Men, being very attuned to touch and sight will have their emotions and self control put into temptation. I, too, have often been referred to as a "prayer warrior" and currently belong to a prayer team at my church. Even in church, at the altar, the practice is to pray for those of the same sex. I understand where your fiance is coming from as one who just wants to help and has a nurturing nature. (Two very attractive traits to a male.) It just is not a good practice when avoidable. Again, it's just too easy for at least one of the parties to stray from a fraternal position. In addition, by alerting this fellow to the fact that it isn't wise for them to pray together alone (in order to safeguard both their hearts), your fiance is "setting herself apart" from our cultural norm and bringing more spiritual strength into the occasion by having a third party present. If he is an unbliever this is important. As far as believers go, one only need look at how many pastors have been caught in adultery after an innocent counseling session(s) turned into emotional entaglement. It's too easy to think, this would never happen to me! God bless you both.

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