Dr. Willis Newman, Esmeralda Newman, bible-teaching-about.com

He's not a Christian

by Rose

I hope this site suitable for a question like this, but I can't seem to find anything else, so here goes...
I'm a young Christian woman and lately I've been struggling with something. Actually, probably since around Christmas (December 2012) time, but it's on my mind more now.
So basically, I met a guy at work about 1.5 years ago. I liked him when I first met him, but we didn't talk much and I knew nothing would ever happen because he's not Christian. So, I kinda just figured it was a crush and I didn't worry about it. He was kinda just my eye candy at work. After working there for almost a year, he started showing interest. I think he was interested earlier, but there's a bit of an age gap so he was hesitant to show it. I'm pretty sure he knew I liked him and I was starting to know that he liked me. Now, he KNOWS that I'm Christian... and, in our conversations, I made it known that my relationship with Christ was very important to me. "Religion" was something I was definitely into (as a non-Christian, he really views it as a religion, rather than a relationship with Christ). He was raised Catholic, but as he says, he doesn't "practice" it much, because he's too busy with work. So anyways, I stopped working there and didn't talk to him for a while... but then we started talking via cell phone. I ended up getting his number and we texted all night. But I started feeling REALLY guilty. Deep down (and a few of my friends had told me I shouldn't be talking to him either), I knew that it wasn't a good relationship. I know the Bible says not to be unequally yoked and that I should date/marry someone who doesn't share my love for God. So I texted him the next morning and told him I wouldn't talk to him anymore, because I didn't think the relationship would work out well. He wasn't rude or anything, he told me he understood, but he said he DID believe in God, he just didn't practice his religion. He said he would try to get his life in order more and he would leave me alone if I didn't wanna talk. I felt like he was really respecting my decision. I'm not sure if he totally understood my reasons (because he's not Christian, even though he DOES believe in God), but he still respected me. I'm kinda REALLY shortening this story and missing a bunch of stuff... It's a super long story. But basically, what I'm struggling with now, is that I STILL really, REALLY like him. I miss talking to him and I WANT to date him. I can't deny it. I want to be in a relationship with him. When it comes to relationships, though, I don't JUST want to date, I want to get married. I'm not the type to just date cuz I'm bored. So, I know that with him, it won't be a serious relationship, because he's not ready and he's not Christian. But I can't get him off of my mind. I try to like other guys... I try to just focus on God, but it doesn't work. He always ends up coming back into my thoughts. So, what do I do? Do I just wait on God? If it's God's will, will He change the heart of the man I like and let us be together? I just feel really confused.
I know if I asked him to come to church, he probably would. But, my mom told me that even if he DOES come to church, he would just be doing it for me. With Christianity, I know it has to be your own decision. If he was just doing it for me, and not for himself and God, things would eventually catch up and explode in our faces, making mess of everything.
I REALLY want God to touch this man's heart... I want it so badly. So how come that's not happening? People tell me that God has someone better out there for me... but I don't want. I mean, I DO want that, but right now, I really want this man. I just can't imagine someone else coming along that I like more. And, I have to admit, I'm a very impatient person! My mom tells me that I don't really like this guy... she thinks I'm just looking for someone to like because I'm tired of being single. But I don't think that's the case. Because, even when I meet other guys that are attractive, nice AND Christian, I still end up thinking about this man.
Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? I'm really struggling with this. Should I just continue to pray for this man that I like, that his eyes are opened to God's Word? I feel so confused sometimes...

Comments for He's not a Christian

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Apr 04, 2021
by: Anonymous

Pray for him, and pray to God about your situation and direction from God

Sep 11, 2018
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how you feel, although mine is a bit further. My biblical counselor has sat with me and advised how the unequally yoked verse is taken out of context a lot. I was engaged to a wonderful man that did not believe the same as I, but we got along, and respected each others views and beliefs and worked great, until..... Other Christian people judged him and made him feel that he was not worthy or good enough for me and my family. It has ruined everything now. That is not what God wants. He wants us to function with everyone, love everyone, and be salt so that they desire what we have. But overall it is their choice, and their salvation only makes them better later. We can't marry for salvation. God can change all things. He is God!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Women's Issues.

only search Bible-teaching-about.com










To give towards this ministry, click the DONATE button below and follow the prompts. You do NOT need a PayPal account to give. Newman Ministries International, Inc. is a registered non-profit organization 501(c)3, and your gifts are tax deductible as the law allows.