Dr. Willis Newman, Esmeralda Newman, bible-teaching-about.com

He's not a Christian

by Rose
(Canada)

I hope this site suitable for a question like this, but I can't seem to find anything else, so here goes...





I'm a young Christian woman and lately I've been struggling with something. Actually, probably since around Christmas (December 2012) time, but it's on my mind more now.
So basically, I met a guy at work about 1.5 years ago. I liked him when I first met him, but we didn't talk much and I knew nothing would ever happen because he's not Christian. So, I kinda just figured it was a crush and I didn't worry about it. He was kinda just my eye candy at work. After working there for almost a year, he started showing interest. I think he was interested earlier, but there's a bit of an age gap so he was hesitant to show it. I'm pretty sure he knew I liked him and I was starting to know that he liked me. Now, he KNOWS that I'm Christian... and, in our conversations, I made it known that my relationship with Christ was very important to me. "Religion" was something I was definitely into (as a non-Christian, he really views it as a religion, rather than a relationship with Christ). He was raised Catholic, but as he says, he doesn't "practice" it much, because he's too busy with work. So anyways, I stopped working there and didn't talk to him for a while... but then we started talking via cell phone. I ended up getting his number and we texted all night. But I started feeling REALLY guilty. Deep down (and a few of my friends had told me I shouldn't be talking to him either), I knew that it wasn't a good relationship. I know the Bible says not to be unequally yoked and that I should date/marry someone who doesn't share my love for God. So I texted him the next morning and told him I wouldn't talk to him anymore, because I didn't think the relationship would work out well. He wasn't rude or anything, he told me he understood, but he said he DID believe in God, he just didn't practice his religion. He said he would try to get his life in order more and he would leave me alone if I didn't wanna talk. I felt like he was really respecting my decision. I'm not sure if he totally understood my reasons (because he's not Christian, even though he DOES believe in God), but he still respected me. I'm kinda REALLY shortening this story and missing a bunch of stuff... It's a super long story. But basically, what I'm struggling with now, is that I STILL really, REALLY like him. I miss talking to him and I WANT to date him. I can't deny it. I want to be in a relationship with him. When it comes to relationships, though, I don't JUST want to date, I want to get married. I'm not the type to just date cuz I'm bored. So, I know that with him, it won't be a serious relationship, because he's not ready and he's not Christian. But I can't get him off of my mind. I try to like other guys... I try to just focus on God, but it doesn't work. He always ends up coming back into my thoughts. So, what do I do? Do I just wait on God? If it's God's will, will He change the heart of the man I like and let us be together? I just feel really confused.
I know if I asked him to come to church, he probably would. But, my mom told me that even if he DOES come to church, he would just be doing it for me. With Christianity, I know it has to be your own decision. If he was just doing it for me, and not for himself and God, things would eventually catch up and explode in our faces, making mess of everything.
I REALLY want God to touch this man's heart... I want it so badly. So how come that's not happening? People tell me that God has someone better out there for me... but I don't want. I mean, I DO want that, but right now, I really want this man. I just can't imagine someone else coming along that I like more. And, I have to admit, I'm a very impatient person! My mom tells me that I don't really like this guy... she thinks I'm just looking for someone to like because I'm tired of being single. But I don't think that's the case. Because, even when I meet other guys that are attractive, nice AND Christian, I still end up thinking about this man.
Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? I'm really struggling with this. Should I just continue to pray for this man that I like, that his eyes are opened to God's Word? I feel so confused sometimes...

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Oct 19, 2014
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It happens!
by: Wilmer

Hi Anna,

When i was browsing the web searching for a good topic for ourBible study, your post catches my attention. I was born catholic, just the like the guy in your post. My wife is christian. I will give you a simple background about myself, I a man of principle, I was raised with strong Catholic dogma and had even enter seminary during my Freshmen year. I am happy go lucky guy, changing girlfriends that fast. Until I met and fell in love with this girl, when I started courting her, the Christian in which she belong even warned her not to accommodate me. They call me unbeliever ( which hurts me alot), I started get along with her, talking to her most of the time. In order to get her attention, I started discussing with her about the bible verses, until I woke up one day, something has changed in my life. I have attended their service, First it was so awkward ( considering the Catholic way of praying). I have experienced the complete interaction with God during the service. The prayer really works and can change a persons heart. It happens to me. Now, I am already one of the workers and BS leader. Dont afraid to risk and trust that God always grant the desire of our heart. Im not saying that 100% it will happen also to you, but there is a big possibility if you really trust and surrender to Him.
I can be reach at ethan_naceno@yahoo.com.

Apr 30, 2014
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Free Will and Following that still small voice
by: Cindy

Hi Anna,
I read your post and wanted to share some thoughts with you.

We can all try to justify to ourselves a reason for ignoring that still small voice inside of us (which is the Holy Spirits guidance). Especially when we want something we know does not line up with the Word.

You said you didn't understand why God didn't change his (your friends) heart but that is the whole point of Free Will. God will not violate our choices in life. Even when he sees us making bad choices or sowing bad seed that we will ultimately reap the harvest in our lives. That harvest could be years in coming but ultimately we will reap what we sow.

There is always the chance your friend could begin to believe and have a personal relationship with Jesus but he doesn't have one right now. What the truth is right now is what you have to base your decisions on. It sounds like the Holy Spirit is urging you to one way but you are determined or wanting to choose to go your own way. HE will let you follow your choice! As for inviting him to attend church with you - that could be a good step toward letting God work in his life. Lots of guys begin going to church for a girl and some do find and accept a relationship with Jesus. But if he doesn't believe God is worth his time are you willing to risk a life with an unbeliever. What if you do date and get even closer than you are now. How much harder will it be to say no to someone you allow yourself to love. Love is a choice just like Believing in Jesus and having a relationship with HIM. Right now he says he understands your religion or relationship with Jesus is important but he doesn't have time for one. What if after you get involved or even married he says you can't go to church or even take your kids to church.

Only you can decide which level of risk you are willing to take but I'm praying you will continue to follow the WORD and listening to the Holy Spirits guidance. May God Bless and Keep you. God has great plans for you. Plans for good a hope and a future. Jer 29:11



Apr 29, 2014
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God's will
by: Esmie

I was reading Chuck's Swindoll's comments on God's will and thought of you. Here is an excerpt of what he wrote: (he is addressing the questions: "Can't I rely on my feelings?"
This is frequently asked with regard to things we really want to do—but which lack biblical support. Take the case of a young woman madly in love with the man of her dreams. She is a Christian, but he is not. With all her heart, she believes he will someday become a Christian. How does she think marrying him is God's will? Her feelings.

But the Bible states unequivocally that to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever is NOT God's will, her feelings notwithstanding. Second Corinthians 6:14–18 and 1 Corinthians 7:39 are not eased by romantic moonlit nights. No matter how strong our feelings may be, when there are biblical precepts and/or principles that point us in a certain direction, we dare not ignore or disobey God's Word.

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