Dr. Willis Newman, Esmeralda Newman, bible-teaching-about.com

Excommunicated

QUESTION:

I'm VJ, from ..... who was living in an abusive relationship from 2 years when I finally decided to leave. You see, I conceived during this time and thought that at least after the child is born, he would change, but realized that it wouldn't be so.
Since then I have been living with my parents and my son. This happened 4years ago. Now we have filed for divorce since during these last years, I have not seen any form of repentance from his side, any sign that he felt remorse or even a seance of taking responsibility for his actions.

The thing is that I hail from a very strong God-fearing family. My grandfather was a pioneer evangelist and we have been brought up with strong ideals and principles. So it has been difficult for us (as a family) to take this decision to break the marriage. But we saw no way out of it. He has not shown any inclination to do anything about working it out. I don't trust him.

The thing is that the church we have been a part of for over 15 years, once they found out decision, excommunicated me(and of course byway of relation, my parents).
What i want it know know is, how can church members, who know about my plight deem fit to throw me out of church and quote Bible doctrine about marriage and fail to consider the fact that my husband broke his vows before God. And that both me and my son would be in harm's way if we went back to him. How can so-called God's children, turn their backs on their sister when she told them she was being beaten? Would they tolerate it happening to their daughters? Or their sisters? Would they throw Bible verses at them too?

I have faith in my Father. It is this same faith that makes me sure that He would not want me tone in a relation where He is not honored. My marriage was not honoring Him, it wasn't based on Gods and it wouldn't portray His love.
What is your opinion? Do you think my decision wrong? Would God punish me? Do I not deserve to be in a Christ-centered relationship?

ANSWER:

We have godly people on our team that helps answers questions and prays for those who ask questions. This response is from C:

Dear Sister, Unfortunately just because people profess to be Christian it does not mean they are behaving Christ Like.  Our Loving Father would not want you to stay in a relationship where you and your son are being abused either mentally, physically or verbally.   He loves us much more than we can ever comprehend and His Word says in Jer 29:11-13 "I know what plans I have for  you, says the Lord, plans for GOOD and not BAD, so that you can have a HOPE and a FUTURE.  When you call to me and pray to me I will hear you, I will listen to you.  When you seek me, you will find me, when you seek me with your whole heart."   


There are many believers that get so caught up in being legalistic with what they believe God says in His Word they forget one of the important principles he laid out for us to follow. "Love your neighbor as yourself."  Look for a new church home that will love and support you in this very difficult time of your life. 

I can tell from your letter that divorce was not an easy out for you but in your situation it is the best choice for your safety and health but also the well being of your son.  Your situation reminds me a bit about when Jesus called the Pharisee's hypocrites when they objected to him healing a man on the Sabbath. (paraphrased in my words) He said to them which one of you, if you had a sheep that had fallen into a pit would not lay hold of it and lift it out even if it was on the Sabbath. 

So much more important is it that we heal or set free those that are held captive by infirmity (or you could replace this word with abuse).  May God Bless you and keep you, May He make His face to shine upon you and give you Peace! Your sister in Christ,

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