Domestic Violence:Causes and Cures

By Dr. Willis C. Newman, Ph.D., D. Min. and Esmeralda Newman, M.A.

INTRODUCTION

Domestic violence is wide spread, sometimes deadly, and spreads through some families like poison toxic. And, it goes both ways! Both men and women can be abusers! Let’s be fair! But, fairness is not the issue. Stopping the violence and abuse is the real issue. There should be ZERO TOLERANCE. There are far more effective ways to resolve differences.

In this ebook Esmie and I will explain what domestic violence is, the causes, the consequences, suggested treatment, and a biblical view of marriage.

An important note is this. In many cultures domestic violence is something accepted and expected – and something the wife deserves. The notion is, “She must have done something really bad if her husband beat her.” Maybe another statement is, “Your husband beat you? What on earth did you do?” Another idea runs something like, “Husbands need to beat their wives once in a while to keep them under control.”

From the Bible, this notion is dead wrong. No one deserves to be abused. No one is obligated to receive abuse – husbands or wives. If you are a Christian, then from a biblical point of view, domestic violence is doubly wrong. It is sin.

However, to soften the rather blunt statement I just wrote, let me assure you there is hope if you are in trouble. I present the following material in a compassionate manner. I am here to help and fix – not scold and judge. Esmie’s section on the victim is passionate. This booklet is just the beginning of helping in handling domestic violence.

Let’s now go to work. I know there is a lot of information in this ebook, and it may seem like too much information to digest. DON’T SET THIS EBOOK ASIDE! If you are in trouble, and you need help, you can find it here. But, it will take work on your part.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PART TWO: TREATMENT OF SPOUSAL ABUSE
Treatment of spousal abuse
Treatment for victims
Tools for change
Anger control log sheet
Conflict management
The cycle of change
Two lifestyles contrasted
What is love
Forgiveness

PART THREE: STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM
Who should we blame?
What is Domestic violence?
General public view
Media bias
Making it worse for the victim
Don’t blame the victim
Power & control: the ugly enemy
The abuser: what are they like?
Myths about abusers
The impact on the victim
13 reasons she doesn’t leave
Community support

PART FOUR: THE BIBLICAL VIEW
Original design; core problem
Equal worth, position, access; headship
Relationship: husbands, wives
Bible study questions
End notes
About the authors