Domestic Violence: 
Table of Contents

By Dr. Willis C. Newman, Ph.D., D. Min. and Esmeralda Newman, M.A.

INTRODUCTION

Domestic violence is wide spread, sometimes deadly, and spreads through some families like poison toxic. And, it goes both ways! Both men and women can be abusers! Let’s be fair! But, fairness is not the issue. Stopping the violence and abuse is the real issue. There should be ZERO TOLERANCE. There are far more effective ways to resolve differences.

In this ebook Esmie and I will explain what domestic violence is, the causes, the consequences, suggested treatment, and a biblical view of marriage. 

An important note is this. In many cultures domestic violence is something accepted and expected – and something the wife deserves. The notion is, “She must have done something really bad if her husband beat her.” Maybe another statement is, “Your husband beat you? What on earth did you do?” Another idea runs something like, “Husbands need to beat their wives once in a while to keep them under control.” 

From the Bible, this notion is dead wrong. No one deserves to be abused. No one is obligated to receive abuse – husbands or wives. If you are a Christian, then from a biblical point of view, domestic violence is doubly wrong. It is sin.

However, to soften the rather blunt statement I just wrote, let me assure you there is hope if you are in trouble. I present the following material in a compassionate manner. I am here to help and fix – not scold and judge. Esmie’s section on the victim is passionate. This booklet is just the beginning of helping in handling domestic violence.

Let’s now go to work. I know there is a lot of information in this ebook, and it may seem like too much information to digest. DON’T SET THIS EBOOK ASIDE! If you are in trouble, and you need help, you can find it here. But, it will take work on your part.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PART ONE: WHAT IS SPOUSAL ABUSE?

Introduction

Definition of spousal abuse

Extent of spousal abuse

Characteristics of an abusive personality

A male as victim

The cycle of violence

Why don’t they just leave?

What causes spousal abuse?

Consequences of abuse

Spousal abuse checklist

PART TWO: TREATMENT OF SPOUSAL ABUSE

Treatment of spousal abuse

Treatment for victims

Tools for change

Anger control log sheet

Conflict management

The cycle of change

Two lifestyles contrasted

What is love

Forgiveness

PART THREE: STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM

Who should we blame?

What is Domestic violence?

General public view

Media bias

Making it worse for the victim

Don’t blame the victim

Power & control: the ugly enemy

The abuser: what are they like?

Myths about abusers

The impact on the victim

13 reasons she doesn’t leave

Community support

PART FOUR: THE BIBLICAL VIEW

Original design; core problem

Equal worth, position, access; headship

Relationship: husbands, wives

Bible study questions

End notes

About the authors